On Being Myself

IMG_7132.JPG

Cheyenne Kimbrell is a recent college graduate currently living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. She shares with Mother Muse Co. the story of her past year -a transitional period – in hopes that others can relate to her story and find strength for their own journeys. Cheyenne is a traveler by heart, her career choice in hospitality allows for her to experience new places regularly, hear and learn from the stories of many individuals, and create her own narrative based on these experiences. She seeks to see the joy in any situation and to share this joy with those she meets.

 

About a year ago unbeknownst to me I started a transitional period in my life. It wasn’t until many months later that I really realized the effect these changes would I have on my life. Looking back this has been one of the most difficult periods of my life but also the most rewarding experience I have ever gone through. This isn’t a story that is easy to tell but I want to share my experience so that others will know there is always hope and opportunity no matter what your circumstances.   

 

Let’s go back to the beginning when this all started, I had just landed my first internship with Wyndham in Destin, Florida and I was ecstatic. I was living on the beach, working with amazing friends, and sipping on wine everyday (living the dream I know). Despite all that happiness I was feeling there was another battle I was dealing with, the battle of what I left behind in Tuscaloosa. Back at home was my fiance and the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with but for as much fun as I was having at the beach I could feel myself growing further apart from him. I kept it to myself and struggled almost every day with anxiety and just a general sense of feeling lost. Well as fast as summer came it ended and reality set back in.

 

I should probably mention before I moved to Florida for three months I just let things happen I would brush all the bad things aside and assume that what love is and that is life but coming back to Tuscaloosa that summer I felt like I knew my worth. I was completely independent for three months there was no one telling me how I should and should not feel; instead I was surrounded by people who didn’t know me as Cheyenne and Garrett but rather just as Cheyenne. For the first time in almost three years I actually felt like my old self. About two months went by after being back in Tuscaloosa my anxiety was getting worse, I wasn’t sleeping right, and I cried almost everyday. It was a mid-September day when I just snapped and that was it, I was done completely and utterly done. I called off the wedding and instead called my best girlfriends (because wine and Tay Swift).

 

Since that day I have lost a lot including some really good friends, it was not an easy battle but I can tell you now that I have gained so much more in the process. It was slow and some days I wasn’t sure if I could event get out of bed but in the weeks following him moving out I stopped the little anxious habits I had, my hair was growing, I was finally looking forward to life rather than living in the past. Ever heard the song ‘I Look So Good’ by Jessie James Decker? I highly recommend because seriously girls we glo up after an experience like that.  

 

Now months have passed and yes I’ve had my setbacks (don’t we all?). I have also found myself almost falling into old habits again but I made it a point to only surrounded myself with the most supportive family and friends. I would also like to make it clear I have no bad words to describe Garrett we just grew into two different people that were no longer meant for one another.

 

I guess you might be wondering where I am today and where all those changes led me. Well for starters I graduated from The University of Alabama (Roll Tide!) and right after I’m done writing this I’m headed back to Destin for a interview for a full-time position there! Plus I even met someone who is caring, sweet, and constantly keeps me laughing #blessed! Isn’t it funny the way life works out sometimes y’all?

So my advice to you in all of this is no matter what your situation is, no matter what you feel like is holding you back there is a way to make a change. I’m not saying it will be easy an easy process; it might take all the strength you have but one day you will wake up and you will just be ok (proven true life advice from my mom). Always be thankful for your setbacks and struggles because without them you won’t have the motivation to do better in life. If there’s one last thing I can say to y’all is never give up, life is always changing and one day you’ll look back and see how far you have come! Until then stay positive and full of life (and wine)!

 

P.S. Follow me on insta to see where I end up next @cheyenne_raae

 

Cheers xoxo,

Cheyenne  

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s